My Proposal for Fixing America. As If It Matters.

OK, so I recently opened an ill-advised can of worms voicing, in a roundabout way, my displeasure with Congress's recent passing of the monstrous health care bill. I must have not been very clear on my actual point, because my liberal friends (you know who you are) have been posting long, admittedly well-reasoned, but point-missingly long responses. I'd like to spell out then my actual point.

But first let's just agree that conservatives are feckless, boorish philistines, and liberals are erudite and compassionate literati. Kieth Olbermann and Rachel Maddow say it's so, so it must be so. If you are thinking about posting any more responses along these lines, you needn't bother. Yes, yes, Sarah Palin is like a barbie doll; Dick Cheney is Satan's second cousin. Barrack Obama gives us all tingles up our legs when he speaks, Chris Matthews, and my, isn't Nancy Pelosi lovely.

Also, let's agree that Republicans have done unsavory things in the past as well. Does it make it OK for the Democrats to carry on as they have? I'm not convinced, but OK...let's table that discussion. Everything wrong with our country up to this point is George W. Bush's and Dick Cheney's fault. OK?

Here's what I was trying to say in my Facebook post: Our Congress has become so disengaged from the American people whom they are supposed to be serving, that what we need is a good house (and Senate) cleaning. My proposal is that we need to elect 535 honest Americans who will lay out their positions plainly, promise to serve exactly one term in whichever chamber and then go back to private life. They are then unconcerned with re-election in two or six years, and thus more able to actually do what their constituents elected them to do. And here's what seems to be the crux of misunderstanding: I don't care which party, if any, these 535 people belong to.

Imagine this scenario, for example. Your congressional district has two candidates, and they stand up before you and your neighbors. Candidate A:

"Hello. My name is Phil S. Tine. I run the Lucifer Insurance Agency, which specializes in Evil Insurance. I stand for minimal government intrusion into your lives, and will only vote for bills that enable you to make your own way through life. I believe the powers of the Federal Government should be limited to those explicitly granted to it, and those expressly denied to the states, by the Constitution. I believe you should have the right to choose where your children go to school without being penalized by taxes. I believe private companies should remain private, and you have the right to run your business the way you like. If you elect me to the House of Representatives I will apply these principles of personal freedom to the greatest extent possible for two years, and then go back to my insurance agency without a further peep. Thank you."

And then Candidate B:

"Like, good evening, man. I'm Lucky Dreadlocks and I run the Moonbeam Hackey Sack and Birkenstock Co-op and Afghan Restaurant (That's some good labna!). I believe in a socialist nanny state that takes all of your money and spreads it around evenly to everyone. Don't worry about stuff if I am elected, because the government is your Daddy and will take care of you. Even though this sort of system has never, ever worked anywhere ever, I'm pretty sure with a little wishing on a star and creative arithmetic we can make it work. I believe I and my liberal cronies know better than you how to live your life and raise your kids, so we'll tell you what to do every step of the way. I believe the best way to deal with terrorists and criminals is have a big group hug. So sit back, watch some cartoons, and drink some 'herbal' tea (which I'll push to  legalize straight away). Vote for me, dudes, and I'll spend two years--no more and no less--turning America into the East Germany we've always dreamed of!"

Now, you and I go vote for whichever of these people appeals the most to us. Obviously, I'll vote for Phil, and you'll probably vote for Lucky. That's fine. All I want is for all of our representatives to tell us plainly and honestly what they stand for, and if we buy it, go to Washington and do those things that they said they would do without succumbing to political skulduggery and lobbyist bribery, and then go back home to their regular lives. I don't care how much previous political experience they have, as long as they are honest and have common sense. I don't want them to get a year in and abandon their responsibilities in order to run for some other office. Is that too much to ask?